Through Fire and Flames
by Ms.Schizophrenia
Summary: Canceled
1. Screw Genji! This is my tale!

A/N The lack of good Deidara stories disturbs me, and thus, I will do something about it! In memory of the great, awesome, Deidara of the Akatsuki, who truly went out with a BANG! By the by, I would LOVE for you peeps to give me ideas. I have no idea where I'm going with this. Also, I know nothing about the Honey Country. Please correct anything.

Al was about to walk across a street when a chicken appeared. This chicken had papers in its beak. Al followed the chicken across the road and got hit by an eighteen-wheeler. The chicken laughed at Al and continued carrying the rights to Naruto.

Chapter I: Screw Genji! This is MY tale!

I sighed and stared at the small lighter in my hand. Smirking, I flicked it on and off. On and off. On and off. I could set this whole forest ablaze if I wanted. But I didn't. I'm way too lazy to try and run away afterwards. I was bored, but not that bored. I saw a small ant struggling with some white thing, apparently trying to get it back to its home. Hey look, temporary amusement! I set the lighter close to the ground and nearly laughed as the poor little creature struggled in vain to get out of the way of the new mysterious substance. Little fucker won't be biting me anytime soon.

As for me, Arashi, I'm a borderline freak. Wait, scratch that. I AM a freak. Orange hair in a low, messy ponytail, and green eyes. Not to mention my freckles; cute when you're five, irritating as hell when you're almost eighteen. Atop my head a red bandana was tied haphazardly. Tan tank top, black sweater tied around my waist, and green cargo pants tucked into hiking boots. And my skeleton key necklace I rarely took off hung loosely around my neck.

I'm not even a ninja. Just your average pyromaniac asylum escapee. Current occupation: traveler. Whoops, a little too much information. Ah well, the ANBU are way to busy getting their asses kicked by the Akatsuki at the present.

The poor little ant was currently reduced to simply ashes. Now I was just burning dirt. I shut off my lighter, changed my mind, and turned it back on. I just stared. Flames are so pretty, aren't they? Unlike explosions, plain old fire lasts and it's a lot more fun to watch something go from a little ember to huge blaze that eats everything in its path.

Where should I head next? I fiddled with my little lip ring (don't worry, different hand from the one with the lighter) my current location was the Fire Country. I think. Hey! I never said I was _good_ traveler. I can make an awesome campfire, at least! I can't do much other than that, though. Guess I could catch a squirrel or something and cook it. I'm broke anyways, so it wouldn't be any good to be in a town. Maybe I should get a job? Probably. Ah well.

My lighter went off. Must have accidentally pushed the wrong thing. I pulled my finger across the spiny thing again and got a spark which went out shortly thereafter. Oh shit. I tried again to no avail. Oh shit shit SHIT NO! Damn it all! Out of fucking lighter fluid! Yeah, time to reach a town and get a job.

I twitched. I doubt I could live without some sort of fire. No fire means no amusement. No amusement means getting grumpy. Grumpy, when referring to me, means broken feet from trying to epic-kick trees and yelling at every person who gives me a weird look. Here comes bitch of the century!

Royally pissed, I got up off my ass and headed towards a random direction. I should find a town _somewhere._

~~squiggly~~

Great. Just friggin' great. Many (to me) long hours later, my stomach was growling and the urge to burn shit increasing ever so quickly.

I've been wandering around aimlessly for about a year, just letting life pass me by; stop here, make some money there, move on. Wait; let me start from the beginning. I'm originally from The Honey Country, which is somewhere above Fire Country. From what I know, we're allied with them; I'm not really one for politics though. I lived in a town not too far east of the capital. Mother, father, baby sister, white fence blah blah blah. Until, that is, about six years ago when I escaped the meticulous life which belonged to me. I was exposed to the great fire, or as I should put it, the awe inspiring action of burning stuff.

It all started when out neighbor's house caught fire. My parents ushered me outside to get away incase our house caught a flame from the other. As my father practically dragged me away, I couldn't help but notice how beautiful the blazes were. The roaring sound accompanied by the most wonderful mixture of reds and oranges. It was all so overwhelming to watch. How the glass broke! And all the intoxicating smoke! Oh, how awesome indeed! I wanted to stay and watch longer, but of course this would not be allowed. While being dragged away by the back of my shirt I vowed to find a way to experience the same stomach churning sight on a regular basis.

After the damage was dealt to the unsuspecting house my family and I went to console the mourning occupants. We walked through the ashes with them, all the adults held each other as I scoffed and kicked around their former belongings. Something kind of shiny caught my eye and I picked it up. It was an old key, made of whatever metal they used to make skeleton keys with. Glancing over to the crying lady of the house, I myself decided that whatever the key went to was burned down thus dubbing it useless to the family. I stuck it in my pant's pocket and continued to shuffle through debris. So my lucky key is stolen, big whoop. It's been mine for almost six years now and I certainly don't feel remorse for taking it at this point in time.

After the "unfortunate" event I began to set little things on fire when my mom and dad weren't looking. Just things like throwing a scrap of paper on the burner when dinner was cooking. As the years went by I progressed to larger things such as furniture left on the curb, old homework, et cetera. I even lit up my math textbook in eighth grade. Take that algebra! Pft. Once I set our cat's tail on fire to make my sister cry.

I got in serious shit after I turned fifteen. I attempted to set my own house on fire starting with the ugly, shaggy carpet. Dad caught me, stomped out the fire, beat my ass, and made me use my allowance to buy an even uglier carpet. You know that industrial crap that makes you feel high after staring at it 'cause there's so many different colors? Yeah, that stuff.

After the incident I learned to use gas for the big stuff and set my high school ablaze. It was beautiful! I still got caught and sent to juvei. That sucked. Another year and they sent me to a mental hospital in the capital. The pussies couldn't handle me. I had a dorm, shrink, lunch, and the occasional visit to the outside world with other maniacs. _That _was rainbows and unicorn shit. At sixteen I managed to escape that hellhole and become a traveler, more like a pyromaniac who has no clue where she is going.

That's it for The Tale of Pyro Girl. Boring? Yeah I know. Let's start heading…east! Which is…left? Right? Ahead? Behind? Screw this I'm going straight. Forget you, North Star! Even if it's not even nightfall yet!

~~squiggly~~

The sign above me said Otafuku Gai. Homely Women? What the hell? Better than nothing, I suppose. I ducked my head, intimidated by the name, and scurried in. It seemed to be a lively city, one of those that have a lot of festivals. I get to burn banners! Yay!

Fallen confetti littered the main streets, flags and lanterns hung from various poles and windows. Plenty of people passed me by carrying everything from candy to babies, and men in uniforms swept the walkways. I guess they had a festival last night or something. It looked like there was one going on right now. If it weren't for the sense of serenity and daily life I would have been mistaken. It would be pretty cool to go to one of the jamborees that take place here. Too bad it would probably be a while until the next one.

I wandered around, making mental notes of the city. As I turned a corner it was like stepping into another world. I suddenly realized what the city must have _really_ been famous for. Screw festivals, this was a freaking harem! As I walked down the streets I saw different signs all portraying basically the same thing. "Attention dirty middle-aged men, come here and we'll make you feel like a king! We'll dry hump for $500 but no touching, silly!" Scoffing, I moved along.

There were hookers and prostitutes of every kind standing on the streets donning skimpy costumes. I wanted to poke the belly of one fairly chubby one, but resisted. Note to self: ignore every last "Now Hiring" and "Help needed" sign within a hundred foot radius of this area. I thought I was going to puke when a greasy man leaning on the side of a building winked at me. Look away, Arashi, ignore him. I could not, however, ignore a masculine woman that came up from behind and leaned her elbow on my shoulder.

"Hey, you adorable little thing!" The woman pulled, or clawed, at my cheeks.

"…"

"You know, we could use more girls like you back at the bar."

"….."

"Yeah, childish girls are all the rage today! Hard to find any legal, though. And the freckles defiantly add to the effect!" BIOTCH.

"I'm still a minor..." I resisted the urge to kick her teeth in.

"But you must be close!"

I shoved her off and power walked down the remainder of the street. I was hungry, lacking amusement, had to piss, and ready to go banshee on the next person who touched me. I was also stripped of any cash. There were plenty of inns, but I highly doubt any of them take IOUs. Time to look for a decent job.

I asked around several stores and restaurants, no one was hiring today. Disappointed, I continued on, kicking a little rock as I did so. I almost, ALMOST missed a "Help Wanted" sign in the window of a little shop. It had stucco walls with a little, pinkish, sloped roof and frosted glass windows. Are those angels singing? I believe so. I practically floated towards the welcoming door.

On walking in, the first thing I noticed was the tantalizing scent of sweets. Did I step into _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory _or something? Okay, this really isn't helping my starving issue.

Colorful delicates lined all four walls of the quaint little shop: peppermints, chocolates, licorice, gumballs, and treats I've never seen nor heard of. Hell yeah! I want to work here! Candy discounts here I come!

After forcing my eyes away from the spectrum walls, I saw a fairly big bottom moving around behind the counter. I couldn't help but stare and twitch.

A little man emerged from the counter. He looked pretty well-fed. You could tell he was old by his graying hair, or lack thereof. If not for this, though, someone might be fooled by the rosy cheeks and round, childish eyes. Atop is rather big nose laid circular spectacles with a golden chain. He wore a white shirt underneath a red and white striped apron, also donning simple black armbands.

Grinning like a five-year-old, he ushered me further into the little abode.

"Hello! Haven't seen your face around here! New? Have some candy! Aren't sweets just wonderful?" He defiantly talked like he was on a sugar rush.

"Err, no thanks. I'm actually looking for a jo-" GGGRRRRLLLLL… Nice going, stomach.

"Hungry? You sound hungry! Let me get you something! Sugar fills you up quickly! Hee hee hee! What would you like, chocolate? Cotton candy? I have pretzels, to! And root beer! Root beer's good! You look thirsty! I'll go get some of that and pretzels!" Good lord! Does this guy ever slow down?

"Wait! No no no! I'm broke! I just want a j-ob?" The little man pushed a drink and a little bowl of chocolate covered pretzels towards me.

"No problems! On the house! Now what did you want?"

"A jo-"

"Kyo! Kyo! We want some candy!" Three little kids ran into the shop. A little girl holding a teddy bear with blond braids, a filthy brown-haired boy, and another hooligan came in brandishing a wooden sword. I barely dodged what could potentially have been a painful blow to the shin. All three climbed up onto separate little bar chairs, naming different things they wanted, except the girl who continued to stay quiet.

"Slow down, little ones!" Peh, like he was one to talk. The newly named Kyo bustled around the counter and walls, climbing up on a little stool with wheels to reach higher items. You know the ones that you find in the library that always flip over when you try to scoot a little bit?

I know I said he was short already, but DAMN he's short. Shorter than me, and that's really saying something. Grumpy as I was, I had to stifle giggles as the dude's belly jiggled jollily when he walked.

"Hey lady!" With a lazy gaze I looked over to the kid with the toy sword.

"What do you want, squirt?"

"Why are you here? The only grown up I know that likes candy is !"

"I'm here for a j-"

"Here ya go, kiddies!" Kyo set down three bags filled with sweets. The kids took them greedily and began to eat.

"Um, Kyo, was it? Like I was saying, I saw your help wanted sign and-"

"Hey lady! What's your name, anyways?" Twitch.

"Arashi. Now, like I was saying, can I wor-"

"Storm? What a weird name! I'm Botan! The smelly kid is Fujita, and the girl is Cho."

"That's very nice. I need mon-"

"Cho thinks you're pretty!" Botan pointed to the blond girl. I had to admit, she was adorable when she blushed.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I NEED A JOB!!!" Panting, I slapped my hands on the counter and stared at Kyo.

"Why didn't you say so earlier?" All I can remember after that is blacking out.

~~squiggly~~

When I awoke, my back was against something hard and cold. Looking up I saw four faces staring down at me.

"Hey lady, are you okay?" I twitched. Holding my head, I slowly got up to my feet, using the counter to help me. That little shit, Botan, talked _way _too much. I was getting a headache.

After making sure I was okay, Kyo spoke up. "About the job, can you start tomorrow?" Yeah, where the fuck am I supposed to stay tonight?

"Yeah, sure. Do I get a starting bonus or something? I don't have any money for an inn."

"You poor thing! Here," Kyo bustled about his pocket, took out some ryou, and handed it to me, "This should be enough for the week. There's an inn right down the street." Gee, that was generous. I only really needed one night.

"Thanks." He smiled and nodded.

"Oh, and I need to get and apron for you!" Candy man threw a bundle of cloth at me. I barely caught it. The article was the same apron as his.

I took my root beer and pretzels, than headed out of the store. I shuffled my way down the street and arrived at the aforementioned inn. Looks clean so far.

After handing the ryou for the week over to the receptionist, I grabbed the keys and headed to my room. It was small, but that was how I liked it. The joint held one queen sized bed, a bathroom, TV, mini-fridge, small table/desk thing, a bed stand with a lamp, phone, and phonebook, a small closet and ironing board, and that was it. Because I got a room with bed, which was cheaper than two, I still had plenty of money left. Time to REALLY eat. Right after I piss real quick.

~~squiggly~~

End Chapter One

Eh? Eh? Did you like it? Please tell me if you did! Feel free to suggest anything, as well. I only have a very loose story line, so if anyone wants any kind of special, feel free to ask! I know it kind of went by quickly, and was short, but the next should be longer!

Chapter II: Sempai! Can I have candy?


	2. Sempai! Can I have some candy?

A/N: Forgot to mention this earlier, but "Through Fire and Flames" is copyrighted to Dragon Force. On another note, I'm taking this chapter slower. And thanks for the reviews! (Even if only one was positive!) When I hit writer's block I'll go back and redo the first chapter.

The chicken looked with wise eyes upon Al from the clock tower. Al struggled to get the rights to Naruto, but slipped on the 12 and fell to her death as the thunder crashed and the chicken was gone. _Another time, Grasshopper. _

Chapter II: Sempai! Can I have some candy?

Two figures walked through the crowd of people on the main street in the lively little city. One was wearing a black shirt with fishnet, black pants, and ninja sandals. The man had long blond hair tied into a mini ponytail with red string, and the other donned some kind of weird belt outfit or something. He had spiky black hair and an orange swirley mask. After the incident with Itachi, they couldn't wear their coats around the town they planned to take a break in.

"Deiddaarraaa-sempaaiii~ Can Tobi have some candy? Please?"

"…"

"Please? Please? Please? Please? Please? PPLLLEEASSSEEEE????"

"GOD DAMN IT TOBI!!!"

…dotdotdot…

Yes! The sweet smell of Saturday! I've been at the candy shop for a week and a half already. I t really has been a joy so far. The people here are so lively!

My weekend is actually Sunday and Monday, the shop's closed on Sunday and Candy Man wants me to have two days off.

The town's alright as long as you stay in the…civilized part of it. Well, not really civilized, but you get the idea, right? Remember last chapter? I've grown to tolerate…like…okay, okay, I love my position right now. I think I'll stay here for awhile.

Botan, Fujita, and Cho came in regularly. They didn't always buy stuff, just kind of hung around. I managed to get them to help me around the shop. Botan would help sweep, occasionally challenging me to a duel with his broom stick. Cho would wipe down counters and (with my help) reach high places to put up candy so we didn't have to use the death stool. Fujita ran around town like a heathen putting up advertisements. They were all rewarded with nice treats. I eventually figured out that Botan was the adventurous smartass, Fujita the one with ADHD, and Cho the adorable quiet one.

So, like I said, I have work today. I promised Botan I would let him use my lighter. I'm not sure what he wants to burn, though.

I was bombarded with the scent of sweets the minute I walked in the door. No matter how many days I work here, I doubt I'll get used to that. But who's complaining? Not me!

I felt hands clasp onto my pants before I could take two steps. I saw tufts of black hair sticking in random directions, a face shoved into my chest.

"Hee hee, you're soft, Nichan." In mock rage, I pulled Botan by his hair off of me.

"What, you little perv?"

"You said you'd let me burn stuff today!"

"Yeah, let's stop with this mop." I gave his hair a good tug to indicate what I was talking about.

"NO!"

"You never said specifically what you wanted to burn, half-pint." He screwed up his face and pulled away from me. "Got to wait till the end of the day, squirt."

"Stop calling me names, Nichan!"

"I don't think I will, twerp." Botan swiveled and walked back to Cho, who was sitting on the counter with a milkshake. He hopped up next to her with a _thump._ Fujita came in, all sweaty and muddy and crap. He looked around, and went to slide on the counter. The effort was in vain for I grabbed the back of his shirt when he passed me.

"Wha-"

"Not until you take a shower kid." He pouted. "I don't want your filth to rub off and the customers to get sick."

"But!" I let go of the nasty kid's shirt.

"If we get sued you're paying for it." The little shit grinned and ran to join his friends.

As he climbed up on the other side of Cho he replied, "Hah! My parent's would have to pay it!" Ah, so that was how he played. Get as far from the enemy as possible before taunting him.

"And think of the deep shit you'll be in." Oh? What's that? A wince? Gasp! He's getting down!

"Arashi!" Oh, I was the one in deep shit now. Kyo came in through the back carrying a big basket of chocolate cats. Were those for a festival or something? It's only been two weeks! "Don't swear around the kids!" the portly man huffed. The chocolate must have been heavy; he sounded out of breath. I went to relieve him of the basket and apologize.

"S'its okay. Just don't…oof! Do it again." Gee, it wasn't THAT heavy. Oh well, not like a can convince him to diet. He's an old man, they're always stubborn mules. And he works at a candy store. Tch, good luck, Arashi.

"What's with the cats?" I inquired. The old man grinned like an idiot.

"It's the anniversary of when I adopted one of my cats!"

"How many do you have?"

"Sixteen." Holy Hades on a pogo stick.

"Yay! Thank you, Sempai!" The little bell above the door rang as two men marched in, one looking really pissed, the other like he was about to fall into a pile of unicorn shit. I was about to welcome them when Cho dropped her milkshake.

"H-he…" She pointed to the one with the orange thing over his face. Her eyes widened and her lips quivered. The man cocked his head.

"He has a giant lollipop stuck to his face!" The blond girl looked utterly shocked. That's it. I laughed my fucking ass off.

Everyone in the little shop just stared at me while I went into hysteria. I sniffed and wiped tears out of my eyes.

"I-I'm so sorry, but did you see the look on her face?! H-honestly!" Kyo is probably going to chastise me about this later, "and that is what it looks like."

The man leaned down a bit so he was face-to-face with the child on the countertop.

"Is that what this is? I bet it's orange flavored! What about you?" He pointed to the mask. Cho nodded, still staring.

"Can I taste?" I snorted. Cho was so freaking adorable!

"Sure!" He leaned down further. This guy either loved kids, or was totally insane. I hope he's not a pedophile. Cho continued to stare.

A flustered Kyo came and lifted the curious little girl off the counter. Maybe he had the same thoughts as I did. At the same time. Creepy.

As Kyo took Cho to the back, I asked the men what they wanted.

"Hi! I'm Tobi! And this is Deidara-sempai! What do you have?" Okay, he was insane.

I handed him a clear bag with little blue and pink decorations on it. "Fill this up with up with whatever you like. The price goes by weight."

Tobi seemed to perk up (if possible) at this. Apparently his partner noticed as well. How can I tell? Mr. Deidara went totally pale. Heh, if you know who's paying today, raise your hand!

The lollipop man looked around and slowly spun in a circle. I could almost hear the gears in his head turning. Maybe that's why he wore a mask? Because he WAS A ROBOT! Double gasp! I crack myself up sometimes. Speaking of masks, he would have to take it off to eat. Unless he got it to go. Uwah! I want to see his face! Maybe he was in an accident or something. A fire? Or maybe he was born mutated. I was too preoccupied with thinking that I didn't even notice Botan go up to the blond dude...chick? No, it had to be a dude. Despite his hair, his expression was too masculine. And he would be a tall woman. What was I saying? Oh yeah, Botan. This should be interesting.

Lollipop Man was skipping about, collecting different goodies for his bag, which was rapidly increasing in mass, or volume, or whatever. Botan walked up to Deidara.

"Hey, are you a mister or a miss?" Blondie twitched. I doubt he was in a good mood to begin with.

"What!?"

"I asked if-"

"I heard what you said, yeah!"

"Then why'd you ask?" More twitching.

"I'm a guy, you greasy little shit, un!"

"Hey!"

"Ouch!!" The decidedly drag queen cursed. Ooh, damn. He just received a shin hit from Botan. That wooden weapon hurts, you know. Botan, being smart, ran to me. He stood in front of me, trying to be tough. Peh, like I didn't know he would happily use me as a human shield against girly man.

He got in a battle stance, but I could still see his arms quivering. Deidara stalked forward, but was soon interrupted by his partner.

"Deidara-sempai!" Tobi skipped up, overflowing bag swinging behind him. _Plop._ "I dropped something!" He went to down to grab the fallen candy and put it back in his bag. _Plop._ "Another one!" Tobi bent down. _Plop, plop. _"Oh no!"

"Forget about them, Tobi, yeah!"

"But sempai!" All Deidara had to do was glare.

"Bring it here." I called. Tobi brought up the bag; I weighed it and named off the price.

Deidara looked shocked. "By weight," I repeated.

"Tobi, un! Get rid of some of that!" The masked man hunched his shoulders, set his bag on the counter, and began taking stuff out.

"Botan! Where are y- Okay. Could you pick up the stuff on the floor?" Botan complied, watching Deidara out of the corner of his eye.

Reweighing the bag, I sounded off the new price. The blonde dude still looked pissed, though. I swear I could see a light bulb go on over his head. He smirked a bit, and leaned close to me over the counter. He had pretty eyes, but he smelled funny. Like ashes? Sulfur or something. What ever they make fireworks out of. I could live with that.

"What's your name?" He asked. He was twirling his finger around on the shiny marble, and giving me a look.

"Arashi, and I can't lower the price." His face fell dramatically.

"You're heartless, yeah!" Deidara pulled away from the counter.

"I need to get paid, you know."

"C'mon, Tobi!" Tobi waved goodbye to Cho and walked off with his significant other. I stand by that assumption. The defiantly looked the part of a couple. Heh.

…dotdotdot…

I was about to go to sleep for the night, butcouldn't shake a feeling I had…Oh shit!

"That fucker didn't pay!" I had tomorrow off, I was SO going to track him down!

…dotdotdot…

Deidara would make an awesome coonass! He'd fit right in down here by the bayou! XD I just imagine him, sitting in a shanty: "PEW! 'Dat waz some gewd boudan, yeah!" XDD I don't think anyone will get that joke. Oh well, it still makes me laugh!

BEHIND THE SCENES (space filler)

"Arashi!" The director called out to the redhead.

"What now?"

"You're not putting enough into it!"

"How to you expect me to get in the groove without a freaking theme song?!"

The director was now utterly confused. "Wha…?"

"I demand a theme song!"

Deidara, Tobi, Cho, Fujita, Botan, and Kyo stared at the insane woman.

"What? All anime characters have theme songs!"

Tobi spoke up, "Tobi doesn't have a theme song!" He was ignored.

"I want something epic," Arashi continued, like Sephiroths's theme, or Squall's!"

"Who?"

….

I couldn't help it .

Next up: Chapter III: Hey you, dickhead!


End file.
